Detour: All the lies in the world won't get you a tour of the brewery, thus, re-route to horseback riding along the Nile.

Lessons Learned (some the hard way)

Church is the one thing in Africa that starts on time, so don't be late.
If your driver has some incentive to get home, he will turn on the hazard lights and drive in the right lane, forcing oncoming traffic to use the shoulder.
Horseback riding along the banks of the Nile is a must-do (however proper clothing is a must).
Horses will try herd monkeys if given the chance.
Riding a horse and riding a bike are not synonymous.
Riding a horse pre-puberty is very different from riding one post-puberty. For people of both genders.
Mutatu rides break down all social barriers.
It is relatively easy to get into a secondary school, multinational non-profit organization and hospital, however, very hard, nay impossible, to get a tour of a brewery. (interesting prioritizing, Uganda)
Great Danes are in fact bigger than humans.
Wearing Vibram five-finger shoes causes us to stand out even more, as though our skin wasn't enough.

Score: Africa 28-Muzungus 2

For those of you keeping score at home, Africa is kicking our tails.

Let's go ahead and mark off the following on the "To-Do List"
Survive two 8+ hr flights. Back to back. CHECK
Ride a boda boda (motorcycle carriage wrecklessly driven by native)...and live. And Lauren survived the same, but did it riding side-saddle.CHECK
Go to the slum. 3 times.CHECK
Survive a hail-moonsoon. In the slums. With 20 people who don't speak English. In 10 x 10 "room".CHECK
Leave quickly as the locals tell us "it's about to get crazy. You might die".CHECK
Go on a search for the most hated/misunderstood people in Uganda. And find them.CHECK
Tick off said people group.CHECK
Negotiate with their chairman thus bringing peace.CHECK
Become welcome members of their tribe.CHECK
Survive the running of the bulls on a boda boda.CHECK
Visit a terrorist mosque.CHECK
Survive 40 kids stampeding us and yelling "Muzungu! HOW AH YOO?"CHECK
Play UNO with an Australian.CHECK
Long-jump across the swamp (aka raw sewage).CHECK
Make fun of Kyle for smelling his money because it smells like veloci-raptors.CHECK
Make great friends with locals.CHECK
Make fun of Jef for asking if Uganda had a bob-sled team.CHECK
Get questioned by anti-riot military police.CHECK
Buy food for an entire village of starving Africans. CHECK
Truly understand the phrase "Africa Wins Again".CHECK
Get on Ugandan National TV.CHECK
Witness a rap video being recorded.CHECK
Negotiate with people who don't speak English.CHECK

So as you can tell, we're in Uganda. Being awesome. We may be Americans, but we have come to love the Ugandan people. Pictures to be posted soon.

Next post...Horseback riding along the Nile.